How to Prepare for a Puppy
11/09/07 10:17 Filed in: Dog Humour
Pour cold apple juice
on the carpet in several places and walk around
barefoot in the dark.
Wear a sock to work that has
had the toes shredded by a blender.
Immediately upon
waking, stand outside in the rain in the dark saying,
"Be a
good puppy, go potty now - hurry up - come on,
let's go!"
Cover all your best clothes with dog
hair. Dark clothes must use white hair;
light
clothes must use dark.
Float some hair in your first
cup of coffee in the morning.
Also put some hair in
everything that you cook!!! And in the pots and pans
in your cupboards!!
Run out in the snow/rain in
your bare feet to close the gate.
Tip over a basket
of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the
floor.
Leave your underwear on the living room floor
because that's where the puppy
will drag it
anyway.....especially when company is coming.
Jump
out of your chair shortly before the end of your
favorite TV program and
run to the door shouting
"No, No! Do THAT OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of the
program :))
Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in
the morning; don't try to clean it up
until you get
home from work in the evening.
Gouge the leg of the
dining room table several times with a
screwdriver....it's going to get chewed on
anyway.
Have a backhoe come in and dig random giant
holes in your yard. Then go out
in the early am and
step in a few. Try not to break anything.
Take a
warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and
immediately wrap it
around yourself. This is the
feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on
your lap.